The importance of disobedient kids

“It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.”
—Oscar Wilde

I always felt bad about being the “bad child”. Following someone’s authority was just painful when it made no sense to me. I was labeled selfish, dumb and anything that goes on to give a child low self esteem. I was frequently compared to my cousins or the other “good” kids, who were very disciplined, obedient, quiet and did just as they were told to. Though I did envy them for the praise they got, I couldn’t help myself but think of them as robots with no desire of their own. I’d wish I were more obedient innately. I’d wish I were good, I’d wish I listened, I’d wish I obeyed without questioning. That was how the ideal “good kid” picture was painted for me. And I was in awe. I wanted to be admired too, I wanted to be respected too, and I wanted my parents to be proud of me too. So growing up I did as they said, I didn’t think for myself, I didn’t desire, I didn’t dream, I didn’t want, I never asked, I stayed quiet and followed the rules. All of this just led up to my self-esteem going lower and lower. No matter what I did, what I tried, how much I pushed myself to listen, it was never really enough. I never got the spotlight I wanted for long, and at a point when you stop respecting yourself, others respecting you or not loses its grip on you.

I’m in my late teens and who have I grown to envy now? I envy the bold, the rebelious, the ones who take risks and talk highly about themselves because they think highly of themselves. And you can tell that they have taken the risks to trust themselves. I envy those who are loud, who know when to say “no”, who know no shame and who have the audacity to dream big and live big everyday. They were rebelious and they got what they wanted. Everyone is confused in their late teens and early twenties. But atleast in that confusion it is evident that they know themselves and they think for themselves.

I have observed that disobedient children think for themselves. Their brains HAVE to be more active in order to know why or why not they should be agreeable. I think its a sign of intelligence. In India it is so common to educate and nourish the youth to follow rules, to memorise facts, to accept the past, present and future as it is. From most Indian households to the education system, all say: “I’m older, I know best, I know all, I’ve been here for long, do as I say, remember this and follow without questioning”. But isn’t being educated, and being a productive civillian mean thinking for yourself? Doesn’t curiousity directly link with the ability to question?

All over the world, due to overconsumption of online media and our attention span rapidly decreasing, the ability to think for yourself, question all the facts and information being given to you on a silver platter is crucial, now more than ever. I can’t help but think that we need a disobedient youth and generation. We need people who won’t just do and believe as they are told to. We need people who think indepedently, who digest information for what it means to them, who are hard to brainwash, who have the confidence to trust the capacity of their intellect. We need more unique personalities with unique voices and solutions. That is real progress for humanity.

I do believe that being disobedient is a skill. Do you think of yourself as a people pleaser? Do you expect to be told what to do for the big decisions(if not the small ones too) in your life? Are you afraid of being bold because the consequence always seems too great? Do you not deem yourself to be worthy enough to question the ways of life, society, family, politics and your career? Being disobedient is to think independently, and it is a skill that is so crucial in this era. Everyone has their own path to disobedience. To travel and explore is a choice that you have.

I am glad I’m innately “bad”. I only hope to hone this skill even more.